All my life i've wanted to keep a diary. I've attempted to several times and then I read back what I've written and find that i'm so terribly embarassed at my lack of writing skill. Then i give up again until I buy some more nice stationary!
So here I am blogging and hoping that the novelty of this doesn't wear off quite as fast as my interest in the newest prettiest diary does!
I'll explain the title of this blog first. I want very much to change myself, I am in my opinion a butterfly thats currently in its coccoon stage. What has gone before is a torid account of me putting everyone elses needs before my own and i lost myself somewhere along the way. I ate for comfort and have become very over weight - which i won't tolerate anymore. I have lost 3 stone in 3 months and continue to eat sensibly (this isn't a diet its a lifestyle yada yada). I was grossly unfit but by doing little and often I have discovered I love walking, being on the execise bike and hope to take up running seriously after a couple more stone in loss.
I have been bullied horrendiously in the last year and it has left scars on my personality that I hope aren't perminent. I am very insecure and have periods of the darkest depression. However I can now recognise that I have some really good features too. I am determined and strong willed and if i want something I won't let it pass me by without trying my best to get it. I am determined to really 'live' my life.
I have some wonderful people in my life, children, friends and partner. I hope they can forgive my mistakes and be proud to have me in their lives, as I am to have them in mine.
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